I read a lot, especially in the middle of the night to erase negative thoughts. Lots of Anita Shreve novels lately, Life of Pi, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, etc. Last night I was reading parts from one of those Chicken Soup books, you know-the inevitable triumphs from impossible situations. Even realizing how emotionally manipulative these vignettes are, I still was reduced to blubbering but some of that was out of self pity. Poor me, poor me. Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. think I'm gonna eat some worms.
During the day, I am on the computer. One of my favorite blogs is Cancer Bitch (http://cancerbitch.blogspot.com/) who refers to herself in the 3rd person. She is a year out of treatment and is doing fine but rode that cancer roller coaster with style and sarcasm. Perhaps I should start referring to myself in the 3rd person as redundantly, Cancer Crab.
The Asiatic and tiger lilies have a distinct order of blooming: first the pinks, then the deep reds, then the oranges and finally the yellows. I'm right in the middle of reds, the oranges are just starting to open. The white and pink star gazer lilies I had have perished in my incompetent hands. Some of the calla lilies I got for my birthday are in bloom.
My day lilies are about to bloom also.
I ran 106 miles during the month of June. This works out to be about 3 lbs of fat. I think of pounds of butter stacked up-same density. It was cool this morning facilitating my long run. I turned in the opposite direction of talkative lady. I saw one car the whole time I was out there. An added bonus, too cool for bugs. I am covered with bites. Either there are more bugs this year or I heal more slowly from their attacks. They seem to find my cancer blood tasty. In the past, mosquitoes would rarely land on me.
Today I go to orientation for parents at Naomi's community college. She herself is on some wild goose chase with that boyfriend.